The Five Stages of Retirement
(And How to Avoid The Last Three)
Even if you’ve never heard of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, you’re probably familiar with her Five Stages of Grief.1 These are phases that we naturally go through after experiencing a significant loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
People tend to go through these stages in the order given, not because they are pursuing some kind of voluntary five-step program, but because their emotional state tends to progress naturally from one to the next. For example, it takes a while for the reality of a significant loss to settle in. So, we try to hold it off through denial. But once we can accept it as real, we typically feel angry.
Dr. Richard Himmer, an organizational psychologist who writes for Kiplinger, has identified the Five Stages of Retirement.2 These are the phases people go through when they have unrealistic expectations about what their post-work life will be like. Himmer lists them as: pre-retirement, full retirement, disenchantment, reorientation, and reconciliation & stability.
It’s difficult to believe that being able to trade in the 9-to-5 grind for doing whatever you want every day could have a downside. But when the special activities you look forward to in retirement stop being special, life is no longer fun.
Himmer says that one of the things people usually concentrate on in pre-retirement is compiling a bucket list of all the trips they’re going to take and all the activities they’re going to enjoy. But then when retirement finally arrives, one of two things typically happens. According to Himmer, most people never implement their wish list. And for those that do, the excitement of the jet-setting lifestyle soon fades.
So how could something people have looked forward to with so much anticipation lose its luster? It’s because they often don’t include the element that brings lasting satisfaction—meeting the need for human connection.
“Our happiness, joy and overall well-being are intricately tied to our ability to connect and contribute to the lives of others,” says Himmer. “Fulfillment often stems from the knowledge that our actions positively impact those around us.”
This is not to say that you shouldn’t be dreaming of that extended cruise through the Greek isles. You just need to keep a realistic view of what it will turn out to mean in your life. Ultimately, the satisfaction it brings you may pale in comparison to the significance you feel while volunteering through your church or community group.
Himmer says that the way to help prevent going through steps 3-5 (disenchantment, etc.) is to spend more time in pre-retirement planning strategically for your new phase in life. Fulfillment will follow from recognizing that true contentment comes from more than just financial security. Addressing emotional needs and staying connected are essential in navigating the post-retirement phase.
For insights into planning a retirement that’s well-rounded, meeting your relational as well as financial needs, be sure to talk with your trusted advisor.
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